The event of a sighting , the trauma of a semi remembered abduction, these are just the beginning as you wade into this new world of concerns, and begin to see the changes in yourself, the”real” effects of that exposure.Yea, you are a bit more security minded, the 5 locks on our back door I’m sure reflect that, but aside from the dreams and the cautions that dance along the rim of paranoia, and all the angers and frustrations, inherent in the experience of the captive , there’s more.
You stumble onto these things when you least expect, reaching for a shirt in the closet, fragments, as clear in their choppiness as your memories of the film you just watched, only its about you. There are those, and other discoveries. Like the fact you awake on multiple occasions with marks of handling, the imprint of grasping around and ankle, and a three fingered scratch along the inner thigh. Some of these marks so deep they have created scars like the three along the back of a calf, and others recorded in photos.
But most striking in our situation was something that happened one night, when I was up, unable to sleep, wandering through the house. I sat down in the kitchen, which was dark, and reached into my camera bag thinking I’d play for awhile with the settings I was still unfamiliar with. I figured this would amount to a quick dose of drowsiness, but I was wrong. As I sat there I started thinking about the problems light caused in street situations, and I took a flashlight, a mini mag light, and now thinking in a completely different vein, showed its weak beam, the batteries were almost shot, on my face and clicked a shot. There were the usual spooky-tooth effect, and I thought, laughing, “And now my next feat, photographed thought.” I even put the lens a few inches from my forehead, but for some reason, it suddenly didn’t feel like a joke and I eased back in the chair, tried to get in a meditative state, and held the camera a few feet away at an angle.
I started trying to concentrate on a figure. I didn’t even give it an identity, just focused as though I was trying top get it to either step out of the dark in front of me or project it through my forehead. Well “it” didn’t come out of the dark in front of me. In fact the first six attempts were ridiculous, but then I remembered a trick I used when I had incorporated meditation in my life on a regular basis, years before. The next efforts were startling. My level of focus was beyond the experiment at hand, and truly involved in seeking that state of mind. In the first there was a triangle of light on my forehead that something was forming out of, to the side, because of the angle that this first object was forming at, there was no recognition. In fact I thought it was something else.
In the following image, it had developed to a point that I was startled to see the head and shoulders of a figure coming to life before me in the images. There were familier body parts. The chest was mine, the slope of the shoulders, the facial detail along one side of the face, and the hair. This was not an artist’s willful interpretation of something visual, but a complete surprise. Because of other photos taken in the same area of the house, I got a little worried and quite frankly thought I might be tired and just experiencing a sleep induced illusion of some kind, so I went to bed.
When I downloaded them to the computer and brought them up to size in windows gallery for a better inspection, I found all the more detail to support my feelings from the night before. It was obviously strange in a number ways, and I really didn’t see the importance but set my mind to try again that night, and started preparing my mind as I went in to the same environment. Just as I had the night before, I had difficulty getting warmed up. In fact it was harder because I was trying. I guess I was in a rush to find out if the experience could be duplicated.
This time, once my mind was where it needed to be, I thought of a woman without title or specifics of any kind, and this time it was even more powerful than the night before. There was Lori, her head laying against my shoulder, content, asleep. To someone not familiar with her, it might be difficult to likewise interpret the image, but it touched me so much, I was moved almost to tears. The distinct lines to her features all her own. Lori is 57, having revealed that, this will probably be my last entry:), and I will be 52 in july.
I guess beyond that the photos added will have to sum it up, I read about a man who could project images onto camera film with his mind. There was, of course, doubt about his ability, and eventual accusations of fraud. What we are showing you is from a camera card, used in a inexpensive digital camera, by an admittedly rotten photographer. Even after all the photos of monsters? and aliens and craft, we still find each new discovery a bit overwhelming.Maybe there will be a new process someday that makes short work of all these issues, that comfortably and completely explains lighted objects passing low over our highways and town squares, and the real origin of monstrous faces and forms caught moving by our cameras, not in another dimension but in our own . Until then, we have to attend to realizing the deeper truth in these aberration-like episodes in our lives. I remain open to the possibility that this is something that has always been with us in us, but i also from reading others experiences, believe it could just as well be a new gift. Perhaps another evidence as shaky as it is,, of an exposure to something that changed our lives in many ways, and hopefully has made us more aware .